


Calculated Risk

by IAmANonnieMouse



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Arthur swears a lot, M/M, eames means well, sort of crack?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-28 17:38:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17791817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmANonnieMouse/pseuds/IAmANonnieMouse
Summary: Eames implements a new Risk Management program.Arthur doesn't understand.





	Calculated Risk

**Author's Note:**

  * For [teacuphuman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/teacuphuman/gifts).



> For teacup, whose prompt was 'Risk Management'.

They're ducked behind an overturned table, waiting for the gunfire to stop. Arthur checks his supply and swears when he realizes he's down to his last mag. 

"Better make these count," he tells Eames.

Eames grunts and pokes at the bloody wound in Arthur's side. Arthur hisses and slaps his hand away.

"We should wrap that, darling."

"Doesn't matter," Arthur grunts. "You good to go or what?"

"Ready when you are."

"On three," Arthur says, as the gunfire begins to slow. "One…two… _Eames!_ "

Eames' body slams into him as he begins to stand, and he clatters back onto the floor, landing right on— _fuck_ —right on his open wound. "Eames, what the fuck!"

"Can't talk now, darling, I'm a tad busy," Eames calls, shooting indiscriminately. 

Arthur pushes himself back up to his feet and takes out the final two projections. 

"Eames," Arthur says, forcibly calm. "What the fuck was that?"

Eames blinks innocently. "I lost my balance, darling. Terribly sorry."

The first strains of music trickle down to them, and they both glance up at the sky. "Dom," Arthur says. "We should buy him a little more time."

"Consider it done," Eames says, then smiles. "See you topside, darling."

And he blows Arthur a kiss, then shoots Arthur in the head.

*

The job finishes without a hitch, and Arthur finishes the debrief more quickly than usual, herding everyone out the door. He grabs Eames before he can leave.

"What the hell was that down there?" he asks.

Eames looks at him blankly. "What was what?"

"You kicked me out early," Arthur hisses. "And that was after you knocked me out of the way so you could shoot all the projections on your own. What's wrong, you don't go to the shooting range often enough?"

"Caught up in the moment, darling," Eames says, flipping up the collar of his coat. "I didn't realize it would bother you so much."

He leans in and presses a kiss to each side of Arthur's face. "Au revoir."

He turns and walks out the door. Arthur doesn't stop him.

*

Arthur forgets about it until they're working another job together, this time with a capable extractor, Sonji, who showed up to their first meeting with a neat list of everything she expected from them all.

Arthur could learn to love someone so organized.

He glances across the room and looks at Eames, sprawled carelessly in his chair.

"After Eames gets the password, I'll get to the safe," Sonji says. "I'll need someone to watch my back while I break in."

Arthur nods just as Eames glances up and says, "I can do it."

"Eames." Arthur shoots him a glare that screams, _What the fuck?_

"I can do it," Eames repeats.

"So can I," Arthur grits out.

Sonji glances between the two of them. "Is there something I'm missing here?"

"Not at all!" Eames proclaims, grinning widely. "But really, dear, I can handle the backup for you so Arthur can go be amazing everywhere else."

"Okay," Sonji says, giving Arthur one last questioning look before moving on.

*

They do the job. Eames is Sonji's backup. Arthur is absolutely fucking _amazing_ doing his job, but nobody's there to see it.

Still, he wants to take a picture and send it to Eames with some pithy caption like, _Fuck you,_ or _Take that you arrogant prick. I do my job, and I do it well._

Because really, why else is Eames taking over the things that Arthur usually does? Any other job, Arthur would be running backup for Sonji, and Eames would be doing those _amazing_ things Arthur's handling right now. And the last time, when Eames "accidentally" shoved Arthur aside? Yeah, right. More like he doesn't trust Arthur to watch his back.

Arthur growls and kills a particularly annoying projection.

Fucking Eames.

*

At first, Arthur decides to ignore it. He thinks, maybe Eames is just in a weird mood. Maybe Arthur's just in a touchy mood. 

So after the job with Sonji, Arthur goes back to his apartment and enjoys his usual post-job veg-out session. He sleeps in late and stays in his pajamas all day and watches silly comedy movies.

And he tries not to think about what possible reason Eames could have for keeping Arthur away from the most important things during their jobs.

But after five more jobs, it's become a glaring pattern.

Eames offers himself up for the things Arthur always— _always_ —handles. Eames gets in the way while they're under, obnoxiously throws himself in front of Arthur and messes up all of Arthur's shots, blocks his line of sight, and is otherwise a general nuisance.

Arthur reaches the tipping point after several months. It's a job with Ariadne, and Arthur's lining up a shot to take out the head of their mark's projection security detail when Eames hurls himself in front of him like an ungraceful elephant.

Arthur's shot goes disgustingly wide, and the projection ducks out of sight.

"Eames, what the fuck is your fucking problem?" Arthur shouts.

If it weren't for the fact that Eames is due to be impersonating the mark's mother, Arthur would put a bullet in his dumb-as-shit brain.

"Sorry, darling," Eames grunts, "I just—"

"Fuck off," Arthur says, and he stalks away.

*

Arthur breaks into Eames' hotel room that night, just to prove that he can.

"You fucking asshole," he says as he's still pulling himself in through the window. "Do you think I can't do my fucking job? Why the fuck are you always in my fucking way, you—wait. What?"

"Good evening, darling," Eames says. "I thought you would use the door, but this works, too."

Arthur straightens fully and pauses a moment. The lights in the room are dimmed, to let the candles scattered around the room shine brighter. Eames is seated at a table with a bouquet of flowers.

"What the fuck is going on, Eames?" Arthur asks.

"I think we've had a bit of a misunderstanding," Eames says.

Arthur blinks.

"I didn't mean to be in your way," Eames starts.

Arthur scoffs. "Yeah, right."

"I didn't," Eames insists. "And even if I did, it wasn't because I think you can't do your job."

"Eames," says Arthur. "What are you trying to say?"

Eames sighs. "You're always injured. You take all the fire, you draw the projections away from us, and you suffer for it. I just wanted to give you a break from it. I wanted you to be able to work a job and not get shot in face or stomach or leg and just bleed out in some disgusting alley."

It takes a moment for Arthur to digest that. He walks over and joins Eames at the table.

"You were trying to keep me safe?"

"Risk management, darling," Eames says. "You always take on all the risks, when you don't have to. I was trying to show you that. There's other people on your team."

He hesitates and adds, "There's me."

Arthur snorts. "Yes, Eames, I was extremely aware of that when you belly-flopped in front of me."

"Not my better moment," Eames admits. "But I meant well."

Arthur nods slowly. "Okay. I'll try to stop throwing myself into danger all the time."

Eames smiles. "I'll try to stop throwing myself in front of you all the time."

Arthur laughs. "So what's this about?" he asks, gesturing at the candles and roses.

"Ah, well." Eames scratches the back of his head. "It's Valentine's Day, you know."

"Is it?" Arthur asks.

"Yes," Eames says. "And I was thinking I'd surprise you, but I wasn't quite expecting you to be this cross with me."

Arthur shakes his head and leans across the table. "You could've just started with this instead of your whole 'Risk Management' program."

Eames smiles. "But then you wouldn't have climbed in my window tonight, would you have?"

Arthur rolls his eyes. "Shut up, Mr. Eames," he says, and kisses him.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Valentine's Day!!! And thank you, teacup, for organizing the Stupid Cupid Exchange every year! <3


End file.
